If Your Relationship Needs Fixing Don't Do This
The bad news? When you're the one who's actually in the middle of a malfunctioning twosome, it's really hard to see that things will get better. When that's the case, it can be easy to lose your head. I mean, we're only human. We're weird animals. And when something that is dear to us, like a love, is threatened, we'll do some crazy things in the name of saving it.
I get it. I've been there. I'm serious. And to prove it, here is my handy little sampling of save-the-relationship maneuvers that either I've tried or have had tried on me...and please remember that these are warnings, not suggestions! Hint: I did not do the baby thing. Promise.
Have a Baby
There is just so much wrong with this it's hard to know where to start. That it even needs to be mentioned is just sad. It happens though, too often. People get scared and think that an addition to the family will bring them closer together as a couple, even if that means tricking their partner into an "accidental" pregnancy. It will do no such thing; and using an innocent to try to patch your relationship? Abhorrent!
Privacy invasion
"Maybe if I just sneak a peak at his text messages, it'll give me some magical insight to what he's thinking and then everything will work out!" Maybe you're crazy. Maybe you're delusional. Maybe you're breaking laws...and maybe you're getting broken up with.
Checking a lover's email, Facebook, text messages...all straight ways to freaking yourself out. Because either you find something that is incriminating against him/her and then you can't use it against them (illegally obtained evidence is inadmissible in court, babies) or you find nothing and you're just a snoop. Lose/Lose.
Moving in together
When the idea of facing your problems becomes a downer (and let's face it, who looks forward to that), the natural response is often to become physically closer. So the couple will move in together. It's an illogical, if understandable, response that does nothing to solve the underlying issues in your relationship.
So why not move in together instead?! It gives you an exciting diversion and the thrill and illusory romance of embarking on cohabitation is usually enough to distract the two of you from what was causing problems. But hey! Whisper...those problems? They'll be back. Only this time, you're sharing a lease. Good job further complicating things.
